Trusting There's a Reason for It All

I began praying the rosary in 6th grade each night as I went to bed. My Mom and grandmothers often fell asleep praying theirs, so it seemed only natural. At that age, I worried about all sorts of things, but mostly of what people thought about me. I remember rolling around in bed holding the rosary tightly and crying out to God to “please help people to like me.” There was not a particular reason, but at a young age I felt very isolated and alone and often did not feel loved or liked much at all. Fortunately, I am no longer in this place of loneliness, much of which I attribute to consistent prayer, growing older, leaning into, and allowing God to love me, and learning to rest when I feel sadness in my spirit. Though I have still cried out to God for help with other situations, the emotional turmoil my brain once put my body through, is often nonexistent because I have prayer and my angels on speed-dial.

The more I pray the more I notice joy. The joy I experience is not made up or fake, but truly I can often see God in my mind, smiling, looking down on me, sitting beside me, holding my hand, His arm against or around mine. I can hear his voice. He loves to joke around and laugh. The more I laugh and sing with Him, the more He laughs and sings with me. We have a great time together. Though, I also know when it is time to be serious. He’s God after all and there is something about being in His presence that makes you want to sit straighter, walk taller, and be the best you can be.

God’s commanding presence reminds me, I am not perfect and definitely not holy, but I hold everything within me to become all He wants me to be. I try to experience life from the perspective of joy. Most days, I focus on the glimmer; rather, than the stone. Though there are moments of hurt, frustration, sadness and pain; I find carrying the glimmers with me to be a much lighter load which leaves plenty of space for joy.

Though sometimes, I pause and find God shaking His head and I say “Sorry Lord” and then I listen.  We have gone on like this for a while now. Some days He has really got His work cut out for Him. Some days I say “Well, you created me. Lol!” which causes Him to pause and usually smile and say “Well, yes, I did.” Sometimes there’s more. Sometimes just a nod. We go on like this. A smile. A laugh. He shakin’ His head and me shakin’ mine. And, it works for us.

I know not everyone experiences God like this. Still, my prayer is that you do. He’s the greatest comforter. He believes in you, and my hope is that you not only believe in Him, but you truly come to know the deep, deep love He has for you. Our experiences should look different, He made each of us unique, in His image, so it would only be natural for each of us to encounter Him in our own way, in our own time, trusting that there’s a reason for it all.

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for being a part of our lives. Thank you Lord for the jokes, the love, the laughter. Thank you for all the smiles you bring to this big ‘ol brain and all the spots of joy. May my friends and family always know Your love. Trusting You’re the reason for it all. Thank you so much God. Have a beautiful day! Amen.

Y'all have a beautiful day!

All My Love,

Jen

For more information about Get Strong with Jen! click here.

Spots of Joy - Prayer for PTSD - Day 11 click here.