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  • Writer's pictureJennifer Frnka

Teach Her That She Matters

“Teach her that she matters,” our counselor reminded our small group of 8. We were learning how to untangle ourselves from the emotions that can sometimes surface and eventually lead to toxic relationships. As we talked, she reminded us that we all have a little girl inside of us who is worthy of love. We practiced envisioning ourselves as a little girl and reached out our arm to wrap around her as she sat next to us. It was a beautiful exercise.

In the weeks after, I thought about that exercise more and more and began reading more about loving the child inside of you. I kept hearing “let the children come to me.” And, was reminded that although we age, we are all still children of God.

We know that God cannot be physically present with us, but He is visible in our lives in the way that we behave toward one another and love each other. He tells us to love one another as you love yourself.

I thought about that more. What if in those moments of insecurity, loneliness, or exhaustion I treat people the same way I treat the little girl inside of me? What could that look like?

Here is what I found:

In those moments where I feel loneliness, exhaustion, and insecurity the little girl inside of me cries out. I tend to shush her or in the busyness of my life I tell her I do not have time to deal with her, or worse yet, I confirm her fear and tell her she has nothing to cry or complain about, she deserves everything that is happening to her because she should/shouldn’t have done x or y. I typically do not stop to address her, to sit with her to love her or determine what she needs.

So, it is in those moments where I feel my life spinning out of control or like I simply cannot pile another thing on my plate, or go on any longer with the way things are that I must take time to pull my little girl close to me. I must wrap my arm around her and open my heart to let her in. I must sit down with her, hold her, love her, listen to her, let her know that she is safe and secure, and remind her that she matters.

Then and only then, can I truly sit with others. Then and only then can I truly be present to listen to them, to remind them that they are safe and secure, and deeply and incredibly loved.

I encourage you to take time this week to sit with little you for just a few minutes. Hold little you close and love her. Let her know she is safe and secure. And, ask her how she would handle the issue that is causing you the most stress at this point? You might be surprised at what she can offer you. 😉

For the gentlemen, I am certain there’s a little boy inside of you running with a football or tinkering away on a toy. I am guessing he could probably use a hug. Take a minute to sit with him too. 😉

Have a beautiful day ya'll!

All my love,



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